Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont

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  (631): the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont http://tfl.nu/r9tg
  Replies (4) Good night (3609) Bad night (409)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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  (214): I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution. http://tfl.nu/bahd
  Replies (12) Good night (634) Bad night (3903)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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  (504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw
  Replies (26) Good night (3646) Bad night (1134)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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  (561): I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog http://tfl.nu/8q9l
  Replies (34) Good night (5453) Bad night (796)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

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  (973): He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors http://tfl.nu/k8g7
  Replies (8) Good night (5481) Bad night (1904)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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  (412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy
  Replies (28) Good night (1200) Bad night (4626)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

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  (417): I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked http://tfl.nu/4oxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3744) Bad night (856)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her

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  (912): I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her http://tfl.nu/j3sh
  Replies (9) Good night (3361) Bad night (936)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you inspire me to be a worse person

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  (360): you inspire me to be a worse person http://tfl.nu/en33
  Replies (6) Good night (3373) Bad night (1160)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him

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  (303): Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him http://tfl.nu/pmln
  Replies (11) Good night (2308) Bad night (1190)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.

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  (613): The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business. http://tfl.nu/gu5e
  Replies (10) Good night (697) Bad night (1232)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

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  (207): If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it. http://tfl.nu/bcke
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (432)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded

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  (304): Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded http://tfl.nu/tqk6
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (313)
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  (916): View more from California

  I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats

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  (916): I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats http://tfl.nu/tjrl
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (248)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.

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  (586): What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents. http://tfl.nu/qe34
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (243)

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