You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
