But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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