dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize