I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize