Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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