mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
