Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i would one night stand the shit outta him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
