Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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