i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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