Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How's work?
Spinning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
