can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
