That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
