i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
