I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize