I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
