I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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