mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Enjoy the penises
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize