Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
