what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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