I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
