ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
