You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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