So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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