Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
3pm strippers are depressing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
