wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
