The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
