five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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a search helicopter?!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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