just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
