Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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