Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
