He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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