whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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