I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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