Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
