no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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