Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
