I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
