handjob tips. give me some.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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