Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
