Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
