That's when you crack a 10am beer
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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