Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
