so explain again why im purple
no
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
