That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
