How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
