Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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