Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
