is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
