I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
