She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
