2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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