cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
