I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
