We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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