I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
