So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
