Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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