if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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