We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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