The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
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Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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