so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
