This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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