the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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