are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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