We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
