So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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