Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
