I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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