What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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